The Death of Fashion Foretold

In the Time of COVID. Day 26

April 13, 2020

The Death of Fashion Foretold

This morning as April read the paper addition of the local news, I read it’s digital edition. An ad was centered mid-article in the page. It read “Ace Sweatpants… The Last Pair of Sweats You’ll Ever Buy.. Shop Now”. It made me think ; Was this an omen of The Death of Fashion Foretold? Some days we do linger in our lounge ware into the mid-day. Is fashion dead?

Some days I hop up and put on my project pants. They are black, and two sizes to big. I have to cinch a belt to make them say up. They have paint spots From several projects and sometimes they get stiff from the wheat-paste I use when I am working with papier-mâché. When I’m going to get messy, I wear those.

Yesterday we were missing our kids, who are geographically spread out. We both dressed “up” for the day, without having discussed it. April wore a colorful global ethnic print peasant blouse. I put on one of my collarless Irish linen and cotton Grandfather shirts. We looked nice for each other. It was a good thing to, because outside it was gray and overcast. It would be very easy to get depressed with cabin fever on a day like that.

How many people, in this new reality, never get out of their grunge garb? One friend only shaves on Sunday. That way he knows the days of the week. There are many amusing internet images of screwed up haircuts when couples, parents and housemates decide cutting hair can’t be that hard. YES IT CAN.

Women who have their hair colored are freaking out. The truth is emerging and as we approach a month it is speaking loudly. Forget the toilet paper and paper towels, there is a frantic search of near-empty shelves for hair color products . People who never thought they would color someone’s hair are trying their frustrated best. Good luck, boys.

I have heard it said that women, now house bound, are abandoning their bras. This isn’t a Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug movement. It’s just life in PJ’s and lounge ware. Let the ladies dangle.

Probably isn’t much use for lipstick now that everyone is wearing face masks. But guys, if April is any judge of sartorial manners, clip your nose hairs. If you live alone, what the hell , turn those nostrils into forests. Nobody is looking at you.

I can see the ever-growing mountains of hair clippings, when the barbers and hair stylists open back up. Their hands will ache from carpal tunnel as they snip those scissors and try to keep up with demand. Outside the window, the hairy legions will queue for their turn in the chair.

Until then, we are house bound for maybe 3 more months. Is the new high-fashion outfit, sweatpants and beat up slippers. Is it cool to wear the same clothes for a week? The paper I pick up at the end of the driveway 6 days a week is slender. There are no advert-inserts. Most of the ads I see arrive by email and fry your hard-drive if you are foolish enough to click on the ‘You’ve earned $50” . Should I buy that pair of overpriced sweatpants and never buy another pair again? Which one of the four colors should I choose for my “until they roll me out on a gurney” outfit? Is this the death of fashion foretold?

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One thought on “The Death of Fashion Foretold

  1. Pleasant read ,enjoyable. Yes, some clothing can be worn for a week but there are grass mowing outits and morning on the patio with coffee pants/shorts.and anything but undies for evening home video viewing . I keep a big pile of these items in a large African woven basket. Laundry room detail on Saturday. Works for us. Hair cuts…….we are doing our own and short works for us. Avoid that two toned color look this way. Accept reality. Short gray hair grows out fast. Mine grew out WHITE. White, the new Blond. I like it. Growing old is a First World Luxury. I’m two years out from 80… I don’t need blonde hair anymore. Clip the nose hairs , Stanley is right.

    Liked by 1 person

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